Phoenix Suns: Tariq Owens might be the worst NBA2K player in history

The Phoenix Suns continued their NBA2K simulation and this time 2-way player Tariq Owens manned the controller. To put it mildly, he is maybe the worst 2K player ever.

Before the NBA’s players-only NBA2K tournament began on Friday evening where Deandre Ayton and Devin Booker will represent the orange and purple on the virtual national stage, the Phoenix Suns continued their own NBA2K action featuring 2-way player Tariq Owens against the Cleveland Cavaliers and their rookie Darius Garland.

The two may as well have been playing in real life.

Garland, a lottery pick, absolutely dominated Owens who went undrafted.

At the half, the score was 55-24, and the game finished 105-45. Honestly, it really wasn’t even that close.

Garland was pretty good, so credit where it is due. He was making good juke moves which led to quality drives to the basket. He also threw a few alley-oops and pulled off some steals that made him look like a veteran. So I make this next statement with the utmost respect for Garland:

Tariq Owens might be the worst NBA2K player in the history of the game.

I say that with a big laugh because who really cares, but after the first couple of minutes of rooting him on, I immediately just found it entertaining how horrible he was.

Seriously, I think my 10-year-old nephew could work him.

First, and most hilariously, he didn’t make a substitution the entire first half. Seriously. He just didn’t make any subs. All of his players had the little Gatorade logo by their name to indicate how tired they were and he just didn’t notice. They also had the snowflake icon by their name too because everyone was that cold.

When he finally did notice about the subs, it was the beginning of the third quarter, so he made a wholesale substitution, right after this starters got a break at halftime.

I know it isn’t the most professional writing style to write a post like a text message, but:

ROTFLMAO

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When it came to actual gameplay, Owens wasn’t much better. I mean, it seemed like he at least knew what buttons did what, but they were rarely pressed in any order that could be considered coherent. There were 3-second violations, 24-second violations, backcourt violations. I don’t know how many times Garland just stole the ball in the backcourt when he was just trying to dribble up the floor.

I don’t think it phased him, for what it’s worth. Many times, after he had the ball stolen from him, he stopped looking at the game and started reading the group chat on the Twitch channel, leaving the player he was controlling in the game standing helplessly out of bounds somewhere.

I think the computer just felt bad for him after a while started making even his undeserving shots go in.

The real disappointing part (outside the historic Suns loss) is that both players stayed quiet the whole game. No trash talking from Garland after doubling up his opponent and no self-deprecating comments from Owens about the drubbing. Believe me, if I beat someone 105-45, they would hear about it.

Phoenix Suns players are now 2-2 in the team’s playout of the rest of their regular-season games. Let’s hope DA and Book do much better when their games are telecasted on national TV.

We love ya, Tariq, but maybe stick to the real-life version of the sport form now on.