The new Phoenix Suns arena will be one massive bar crawl

1968

All the most high-end, ritzy establishments have short, exotic names.

Pure.

XS. 

Filibertos.

Oops. That last one was a Freudian slip. That will happen after navigating through all these bars.

Talking Stick Resort Arena will feature a two-story night club that appears to be underground considering there is a staircase down into it. This technically might make a speakeasy.

1968 is clearly a reference to the Phoenix Suns’ inaugural season, which equally serves as a nice head nod to the Suns without being overt.

And from the looks of things, overt fandom is highly frowned upon within this circle. Here you will find lots of chandeliers and no one wearing Suns gear. No jerseys. No logo polos. Not even business men or women with a pop of orange or purple to at least acknowledge they are at a sporting event.

Why would they? This place offers “premium” food and beverage (no more Dos Equis and Jack Daniels for you), court level access, and private valet entrance.

I usually take a private valet to the games too. It’s called Lyft.

But no matter how rich you think you are, there is always someone richer (unless you’re Jeff Bezos). That brings us to our final stop in the Talking Stick Resort Arena bar crawl.