The new Phoenix Suns arena will be one massive bar crawl

Floor Suites

This is a level of exclusivity that is difficult to comprehend. The floor suites feature only 16 seats and is adjacent to the player entrance.

Players probably won’t be sure what to do with this because they won’t get asked for high-fives from the men and and women in this area. These elite fans wouldn’t consider smacking hands with a lowly millionaire players.

And because we live in a society where we can never stop tiering people, even at this level, this section includes demarcations of MVP, Ring of Honor, and Valley.

Honestly, I have no idea what that means, but I presume it is how much money these guys fork over to the Suns on a regular basis.

But no matter whether you find yourself in the floor suites or the Corner Bar, the Suns will be ready to pour a cold beverage for you.

Mad props to the first person to earn a grand slam by getting a drink at each of these bars during one game.

We’ve reached the end of the bar crawl. Did I mention I use a private valet? I need to call a Lyft.