The Phoenix Suns have had players with high-quality nicknames throughout their history. Here is the definitive ranking of the top 20.
Everyone loves a good nickname. Unless of course, you still have a horrible nickname from grade school your jerk friends made up that unfortunately stuck, in which case you probably hate nicknames. There’s a guy from my hometown who still goes by “Gravy Train” to this day. I, for one (as well as Al McCoy, who is responsible for a few of the names in this list), love nicknames, and the Phoenix Suns have had some great ones throughout team history.
I’m a huge advocate of the NBA allowing players to wear nicknames on the back of their jerseys for one game per season kind of like Major League Baseball does with what they call Players’ Weekend. The amount of merchandise they would sell would be mind-blowing and I hear the NBA could use some cashflow right now.
Some nicknames are simple. Some are longwinded. But regardless, the best nicknames are organic and when you reference the nickname out of context, you immediately know who you’re talking about.
We solicited some feedback for some of the best nicknames on the official Valley of the Suns Twitter account and Suns fans did not disappoint. We received 72 comments with all the great suggestions, confirming my suspicion this is one of the most under-explored, hot-button issue of our era.
So, what do we do with a group of items for which people have varying opinions on which is best? We create a definitive ranking of them, of course.
In order to devise this ranking of the top 20, I took the following criteria into consideration:
- Creativity
- Originality
- Notoriety
- Commonality
- Uniqueness to the individual
In order to make the to 20, the nickname had to be fairly ubiquitous. Sure, Ricky Rubio is occasionally referred to as the Spanish Maestro, but it’s not like that is incredibly widespread. Similarly, Devin Booker is commonly called Book, but that’s more out of verbal expediency.
The nicknames in this list have that extra oomph to them. Actually, some don’t, but they’ve been elevated by time and nostalgia.
But enough preamble. Let’s get to the ranking:
20. Alvin “T-Bone” Scott
At some point in everyone’s life, they knew a guy people called T-Bone. His real name might have been Tony or Tommy or pretty much any T name, but someone thought it would be clever to call him T-Bone.
They were wrong, and because of how un-unique this nickname is to Alvin Scott, it is ranked lowest on the list.
The average fan might not remember Alvin Scott (or been alive when he played), but he played for the Phoenix Suns all seven years he was in the NBA from 1977-1985. He averaged a meager 4.9 points per game, but he stuck around that long because of his work ethic and persistence.
Unlike the T-Bone you know whose name starts with a T, Scott’s earned the name because he could always be counted on to come into the game and provide some backbone for the team.
Think of him like Jevon “Bulldog” Carter, if Carter sticks around for seven or eight years.
19. “M-V-Steve” Steve Nash
This is the lowest ranking you’ll see Steve Nash on any Phoenix-Suns related list, but honestly, he barely made it. No one commonly refers to Nash as “M-V-Steve” and for good reason. The letter P and “Steve” don’t even rhyme or begin with the same letter.
If his name was Pete, then okay, maybe that would work. M-V-Pete at least makes sense. Unfortunately, that is not his name and therefore significantly drops this nickname in the ranking.
Still, there is something pretty magical about a (fairly) recent player for the Phoenix Suns to win back-to-back MVP awards, so commemorating that in some kind of way is a good thing. I think people who like M-V-Steve really like why that’s his nickname rather than the nickname itself.
18. “Double-A” Alvan Adams
No one will ever wear the number 33 for the Phoenix Suns ever again because of “Double-A” Alvan Adams. Not unlike M-V-Steve, the fact Avlan Adams is in the Ring of Honor and has his number retired boosts his spot on this ranking, however, this name loses several points for the lack of originality.
Double-A is just his initials. That’s it.
Deandre Ayton is nicknamed “DA” for the exact same reason and it is really less of a nickname and more…just his initials.
I’ll give Adams a little more credit than that since “Double-A” has a word in there rather than just letters (i.e. “AA”) but still, his teammates weren’t super creative in the 70s.
17. “Truck” Robinson
Some nicknames become so engrained they just become the man’s name. Truck Robinson is one of the guys who fit into the category. His birth name is Leonard Eugene Robinson, but no one (besides maybe his mother) calls him that.
A modern NBA example of this is Bam Adebayo whose real first name is Edrice (who the Suns just recently selected in the FanSided 2017 NBA Re-draft.)
Truck Robinson was one of the great, but sometimes forgotten players in Suns history. He earned one of his two All-Star appearances as a member of the Phoenix Suns back in the 1980-81 season when averaged 18.8 points and 9.6 rebounds per game.
Truck was a beast down low and moved more people than Two Men and a Truck…and he was just one man with no truck!
16. “Big Sauce” Alan Williams
“Big Sauce” Alan Williams will always have a place in the heart of Phoenix Suns fans. He is uniquely tied to the community having played with the Suns for three seasons but also because his mother is the Phoenix City Chief of Police.
I have no idea where the nickname, “Big Sauce” came from but it uniquely belongs to Alan Williams. He also embraces it, as that is how he identifies himself on Twitter.
In all actuality, it is difficult to refer to Williams without reflectively blurting out, “Big Sauce!” right afterward. It’s fun, unique, creative, and really has all the makings of a strong nickname.
15. “Shaqtus,” “The Big Cactus,” Shaquille O’Neal
Shaquille O’Neal is a man of many nicknames. Seriously, it’s kind of insane. Google “Shaquille O’Neal nicknames” and you literally will have to scroll through them all.
What makes Shaq’s nicknames different is that many of them he made up himself. That would normally be nickname faux pas, but when he does it, it is kind of awesome.
When O’Neal first came to Phoenix, it was almost his top priority to find a good nickname for himself. As a play off one of his other nicknames, The Big Aristotle, Shaq went with “The Big Cactus” because why not? Later, during his short stent with Boston, he used “The Big Shamrock.”
My favorite during his time in Phoenix, however, was “Shaqtus”. Call me a sucker for a good pun.
14. “The Dragon” Goran Dragic
Steve Nash is recognized for this excellence and tremendous contributions to the Phoenix Suns franchise on many fronts, but one area where he doesn’t get enough credit is the nickname he gave Goran Dragic during Dragic’s rookie year.
The young Slovenian earned the name because his last name is phonetically akin to it, and also because dragons, not totally unlike Dragic, are awesome.
The name stuck and even as recently as a few weeks ago, Dragic embraced the name by posting a picture of himself reading the book Good Night, Little Dragons to his children.
The combination of a play-on-words and a mythological beast definitely earn this nickname some props.
13. “Tsunami Papi” Kelly Oubre
Kelly Oubre is many things, but dull is not one of them. Kind of like Shaq, it appears Oubre dubbed himself Tsunami Papi, after previously going by Wave Papi.
Clearly, he felt he was a much more destructive force to be reckoned with than a mere wave in the ocean.
Again, giving yourself a nickname is typically frowned upon, but when guys like Oubre do it, for some reason it makes it more than acceptable. When you create the moniker Valley Boyz, you earn some leeway to bend a few naming boundaries.
Oubre is the only current member of the Suns to make the list, but he definitely earned the spot. My guess is that when this list is redone in 20 years, the nostalgia factor will make it rank even higher.
12. “The Polish Hammer” Marcin Gortat
“The Polish Hammer” sounds like the name of a heavyweight WWE wrestler. Either that or the name of a devastating finishing maneuver of a heavyweight WWE wrestler.
Either way, the name is fierce, and if you didn’t know what Marcin Gortat looked like, just hearing it would paint the perfect portrait in your mind.
Gortat was an underrated big man in the NBA and had the best statistical year of his career when he was with the Phoenix Suns. He may not be remembered too fondly, though, after he called the franchise a, “Brothel on wheels,” last summer.
Still, his nickname will forever live amongst the greats.
11. “STAT” Amar’e Stoudemire
You probably think Amar’e Stoudemire’s nickname is “STAT” because the man filled up the stat sheet in pretty much every category and it loosely sounds like the first syllable of his last name.
You’d be wrong.
While those are definite reasons why this nickname adds to its appropriateness, “STAT” is actually an acronym for Standing Tall and Talented.
Stoudemire embraces this mantra, and in his post-playing career, he has written a series of books with the same title based on the 11-year old version of himself. “STAT” is an avid reader and one of his passion projects is to encourage kids to read more books.
Noble cause. Nobleman. Noble nickname.
10. Connie “The Hawk” Hawkins
Connie Hawkins’ story is a fascinating one, and in today’s climate of heightened awareness around systemic racism, his basketball journey in the 1960s is one basketball fans should study.
When Hawkins was first allowed to play in the NBA, thankfully it was the expansion Phoenix Suns who obtained the rights to sign him, where he immediately became a star.
The nickname “Hawk” is great because not only is it a play off his surname, it is also a fierce predator who soars over everyone and strikes with impunity, which is exactly how Hawkins played.
He earned the MVP of the ABA, was the best player in any given game at Rucker Park, toured with the Harlem Globetrotters, and led the expansion Suns with 24.6 points per game. The man really was an absolute hawk.
9. “The Flying Dutchman” Dick Van Arsdale
Seven years ago, the Phoenix Suns did their own list of best nicknames in team history. While their ranking was short and objectively incorrect, they ranked “The Flying Dutchman,” the nickname for Dick Van Arsdale as the best.
Their reasoning is that “The Flying Dutchman” is the favorite nickname of the great Al McCoy, and who are we to argue with him? This name definitely gets a McCoy boost, but no way is it number one.
Sometimes referred to as, “The Original Sun,” Arsdale played alongside Connie “The Hawk” Hawkins for the expansion Phoenix Suns back in 1968 and is in the Ring of Honor.
The nickname itself is solid, as it is both a description of Arsdale’s heritage and also an oxymoron considering Dutch men don’t fly.
8. Jeff “Horny” Hornacek
Hah. Horny.
Jeff Hornacek’s nickname makes the 13-year-old inside of me giggle to the point that it kept crawling up the rankings, somewhat undeservedly.
It is a relatively simple nickname, but unlike “The Hawk” where the first syllable of the last name is a fierce predator, this is a juvenile sex-related term.
While I know nothing about Jeff Hornacek’s personal life, he was often the smallest and baby-faced man on the court and therefore this teenage nickname seemed to fit his stature.
This may have been a reason he didn’t fair too well as coach of the Phoenix Suns later. How are you going to respect a guy called Coach Horny?
7. “Hot Rod” Williams
Kind of like Truck Robinson, some nicknames just become a man’s actual name. This is the case with another Phoenix Suns player on the list, “Hot Rod” Williams.
His given name was “John” but that’s boring. Supposedly, his family started calling him “Hot Rod” when he was baby because he made engine-like noises as he scooted across the floor.
When he was scooting down the floor for the Phoenix Suns, he did so as a stable veteran center on the late ’90s Suns teams.
Anytime your nickname is just your name, that is a level of dedication from your friends and family that is hard to come by. Major props to the Williams clan for making this high-quality nickname stick throughout John’s life.
6. Elliot “Socks” Perry
“What’s ole Socks up to these days?” is a phrase I bet a lot of teammates of the mid-’90s Phoenix Suns team ask each other. Elliot Perry may not have been one of the best players to don the orange and purple, he is one of the best to don socks up to his knees.
What’s great about this nickname is that there is a very blatant and specific, unique-to-that-individual reason for it, and the player just owned it. Elliot Perry never averaged more than 10 points per game in a season, but he drew eyeballs because of the knee-high socks he wore every game.
It is also just an awesome way to refer to someone because even though everyone wears socks, everyone knew who you were talking about when you referenced, “Socks.”
Do you, Socks. Do you.
5. “Sweet D” “The Greyhound” “The Man with the Velvet Touch” Walter Davis
Why have one awesome nickname when you can have three? Walter Davis has been fondly referred to as “Sweet D”, “The Greyhound”, and most eloquently, “The Man with the Velvet Touch.”
“Sweet D” started when he was in college at North Carolina is a fairly straight forward one. His last name starts with a D and the man’s basketball skills were as sweet as they come.
“The Greyhound” came because the Suns’ up-and-down play was made for Davis. He had a speedy style and sleek physical appearance, just like a Greyhound.
“The Man with a Velvet Touch” originated from broadcast legend Al McCoy because, well Al McCoy is the best, and it perfectly described his sweet jump shot.
4. “The Round Mound of Rebound” Charles Barkley
Arguably the best player to ever suit up for the Phoenix Suns also had one of the best nicknames. “The Round Mound of Rebound” is a mouthful but manages to rhyme nearly word that isn’t an article and perfectly describes everything is Charles Barkley.
While most great rebounders are tall, one of the best rebounders in NBA history was more round and mound-shaped. On top of that, its overall silly yet clever nature perfectly embodies Barkley’s personality.
It also served as inspiration for one of my favorite NFL player nicknames, “The Round Mound of Touchdown” assigned to the late Jared Lorenzen, the 300-pound quarterback who won a Super Bowl with the New York Giants.
While it doesn’t necessarily roll off the tongue when casually referring to Barkley, it is still one of the best nicknames in team history.
3. “The Brazillian Blur” Leandro Barbosa
Leandro Barbosa first came into the NBA with the Phoenix Suns as a young ball of energy. Everything he did, he did fast, and what do fast people look like to those watching them?
Nothing but a blur, and considering Barobosa hailed from Brazil, the nickname, “The Brazilian Blur” was born.
This nickname is kind of like the Polish Hammer, but the alliteration and genuine uniqueness to Barbosa take this one a step up.
In Brazil, he is commonly referred to as “Leandrinho” (little Leandro) but that doesn’t have the same zing to it as “The Brazillian Blur.”
2. “Thunder Dan” Majerle
Perhaps no player in Phoenix Suns history is more universally recognized by an adjective and their first name than “Thunder Dan” Majerle. The nickname is so commonplace, the Suns did a full video on its origin.
In short, Majerle had a teammate at Central Michigan who was nicknamed, “Lightning.” He was a perimeter player and the perfect complement to Dan “Thunder” Majerle’s (that’s how it was used at the time) thunderous inside game.
Majerle hated the nickname and thought he was finished with it when he joined the Suns, but when the team played an exhibition game at Central Michigan, the PA announcer called him Dan “Thunder” Majerle, Al McCoy picked up on it, gave it the tweak it needed, and Majerle was henceforth nicknamed “Thunder Dan.”
Majerle claims the nickname eventually grew on him.
1. “The Matrix” Shawn Marion
For my money, “The Matrix” is the perfect nickname. It’s one of those names that does not make a ton of sense on the surface, but if you’re of a certain age where the 1999 cinematic classic changed your life, the name feels like a gift from an Oracle.
Kenny “The Jet” Smith first dubbed Shawn Marion “The Matrix” during the preseason of his rookie year while Neo and Morpheous were still setting minds free in theaters. Marion earned the nickname because of his versatility, and presumably, his ability to dodge bullets.
Marion was didn’t make his first jump (no one does), but people believed in him and his versatility made him grow into one of the best players on one of the best teams the Suns have ever seen.
By the end of his career, it got to the point where Marion no longer dodged bullets. He didn’t have to.