Steve Nash Liberation Options

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The more I think about the movement to Free Steve Nash, the more I realize how kind most NBA fans are. In their hearts, there is no malice, no avarice – they simply want to see Steve Nash do as well as possible in his few remaining years. It’s much like a grandchild doting over her rapidly decaying elders (if said elders were one of the best point guards in the NBA).

Too literal! You took it too literally! What did you do to Steve?! WHAT'S IN THE BOX?!?!

Given this kindness, I came to a realization – most NBA fans of teams other than the Suns wouldn’t mind sending their most valued possessions to Phoenix for little to no return! They just want to help Steve in any way possible and get him a championship, right? That’s the way that they always couch their argument to Free Steve Nash, so this must be the logical conclusion!

I decided to take a look at how kind some teams could truly be in their contribution to Operation: Get Nash a Ring. If you’re a Suns fan, I think you’ll appreciate the generosity of our NBA brethren. If you’re a fan of any of these teams, let me be the first to say, “thank you.” You were right – we should have freed Steve Nash ages ago!

1. Vince Carter to OKC for Serge Ibaka, Russell Westbrook, and Nick Collison

I’m of the mind that ridding the Suns of a zombie will instantly make them a better team. Unfortunately, zombies are highly contagious, so the NBA will not allow Vince Carter to be traded in a combination with any other player. Fortunately, Oklahoma City has a well stocked team full of reasonable contracts that can be combined into equal (financial) value in order to trade for Carter.

This trade would be quite kind of Oklahoma City, as Phoenix would employ two of the best point guards in the league – either in two different units, or in an incredible crunch time lineup with Westbrook running the point and Nash playing off the ball. Serge Ibaka would make the Suns defense even better, and he and Gortat could form a formidable front line.

2. Vince Carter to Denver for Carmelo Anthony

Would I trade Vince Carter and his expiring deal for a 3-4 month rental of Carmelo and his incoming opt-out? Do bonsai trees pray that “The Happening” is based on M. Night Shyamalan’s fever-induced visions of a future in which they can rise up against their shear-bearing oppressors?

(Yes. The answer is yes.)

To paraphrase Nash in Dwyane Wade’s T-Mobile commercial, “Phoenix is great, ‘Melo!”

3.  Josh Childress, Channing Frye, and Hakim Warrick to Los Angeles Lakers for Ron Artest and Channing Frye

Of course the Lakers most recent win couldn’t quell all of the unrest in Los Angeles. According to the venerable Marc Stein, RonRon is looking for a trade out of Los Angeles because of the way that Phil Jackson treats him.

Well, Ron, do I have a destination for you! Both you and Mr. Childress have contracts that are rather burdensome, so we’ll exchange “tax contracts” straight up and give you Hakim Warrick – no, really, I insist! He has a 16.7 PER on the year, you’ll love him! Channing Frye has always struck me as a poor-man-given-a-free-shot-at-rehab-who-turns-it-down-after-three-days’ version of Lamar Odom, and plugging Lamar into the Suns’ starting lineup allows Alvin Gentry to further cover for Vince Carter’s inadequacies (namely caring, emotion, and effort) with a player that can thrive at multiple positions.

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